


the one

by fireandhoney



Series: Everything's Been Said Before [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Based on a Taylor Swift Song, Folklore, M/M, Song Lyrics, Song fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:29:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28180182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fireandhoney/pseuds/fireandhoney
Relationships: Johnlock, Sherlock Holmes/John Watson
Series: Everything's Been Said Before [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2064405
Kudos: 3





	the one

~~Ella asked me to write about you~~ ~~us~~

~~Ella asked me to write a blog about your~~ ~~about the~~

Ella wants me to write about what happened

The thing is, I'm not an emotional person. I'm emotional, obviously. I have emotions but I don't embrace them. You knew that.

But I've been told that I should talk about it. That if I don't talk about it I'll be how I was ~~pre-you~~ when I came back from the war. And I can't go back to that.

So here, this is it

It’s been six months ~~since~~

I’m doing good

Been saying "yes" instead of "no" when Greg very subtly wants to grab a pint together

Not quite sure if it’s full on pity at this point  
I can’t be much fun to hang out with

Stops me from getting pissed every night though

You wouldn’t tolerate it

You wondered if the reason I had stopped talking to Harry was her alcoholism

You would have fun pointing that out

Well, those bottles we were keeping in the cupboard have finally been used

Turns out they didn’t go to waste

I was walking out of Baker Street the other day and

I thought I saw you at a bus stop

I didn't though

I know that

and I keep having this dream…

You’re doing cool shit, having adventures on your own like you used to

Running off and leaving me behind on a crime scene or at a witness’ house

~~But then I wake and~~

But then I wake up and Baker Street is silent

And you’re gone

Ella wants me to say things I’ve never said

She says there are things I should have said to you, and never did

Now is the time where you’d tell me she’s obviously right, and you knew she would say that before she even did, and it’s painfully dull

That I just watched my best friend die and there’s undoubtedly things I would have wanted to say but didn’t get to

My best friend

You would kill me for saying that’s what you were, wouldn’t you?

You never considered the possibility of having a friend, you even shouted at me once, you didn’t have any and never would

Maybe you were right

Maybe we weren’t friends, not exactly

But we were something, don't you think so?

We never painted by the numbers, that’s true

But we were making it count, I think

I’ll never know

What you were thinking, or what you wanted

Hell, I never knew what you wanted, no one did

You were brilliant enough to know how oblivious I am

You pointed it out many times, in fact

You should have known I could never read your mind

And if you wanted me, you really should've showed

The great Sherlock Holmes, so complicated and mysterious

How could I be expected to see through that?

You asked me “What do normal people have?”

Not you, that’s for sure

Normal people don’t have you

They don’t have whatever it was that we had

And I can’t help it, I try not to

~~I persist and resist the temptation to ask~~

I wonder

If one thing had been different

If I’d said something

Would everything be different today?

I guess you’ll never know, I’ll never know

And in my defense, ~~I didn’t~~ ~~it wasn’t~~ I have none

For digging up the grave another time

Yes, I know, alright, bad choice of words

You thought I might be doubting you

I never would, I never did

You ~~are~~ were brilliant, and amazing

More than anyone I’ve ever known

More than anyone, really

You could do things no one else could

You saw things and deduced information that was invisible to everyone else

How could you not see?

You must have known

You must have been able to tell

Irene did, and we both know you bested her

Were you voluntarily blind?

Or did you doubt yourself? Did you doubt me?

I wouldn’t blame you, I did too

I denied it every opportunity I got,

but you didn’t, did you? Not once.

Not in the papers, in public, to your brother, to Greg, not even to Mrs Hudson, not ever

And I, the brave soldier, I wasn’t strong enough

What must you have thought of me, Sherlock Holmes

You proved my limb was psychosomatic within 24 hours of knowing me

What must you have thought of me

I didn’t say anything

And now

It's another day waking up alone

Baker Street isn’t Baker Street without you

You once said it would fall if Mrs Hudson were to step away, what about you?

Did you think we would go on without you?

Did you think I could go on without you?

No more violin in the middle of the night

No more being woken up by your footsteps running up the stairs, exclaiming “Get dressed, we’ve got a case, John!”

No more wild foot chases, no more quiet nights in Baker Street, no more comments about the crappy shows in the telly, no more shared cabs, no more late-night Chinese takeaway, no more you

No more you, Sherlock

~~And I~~

You told me alone protects you

Look where that got you

I could say I gave you all I had

I’d drop everything when you said the word

Rushed to your aid every time you asked

I managed your public persona

Apologised on your behalf, made sure you weren’t too rude, too direct

Dealt with the body parts in the fridge, the lab equipment all over our flat

Did all the shopping, the cleaning, the cooking

That’d all be true, of course

But who am I kidding?  
We both know where I was before we met

You saved my life, in more ways than one, Sherlock Holmes

And as selfish as that makes me, I’m asking you once again

How often have you said to me that when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth?

Well, it is impossible for me to believe this is it

That this is all over  
That I have to go back to being alone in this world

Therefore, the truth must be out there, you must be out there, somewhere

And so I’m asking you, please, Sherlock

I need you, ~~I need~~

One more miracle, just one, for me

Come back, ~~don’t~~

Don’t be dead

I can’t do this, not anymore, not that I know what it’s like to live in a world by your side

Don’t be dead

Whatever big plan this is, your big scheme, the great mystery, it can’t end here

Don’t be dead

Let me in

Everyone asks what would the great Sherlock Holmes be without his Watson?  
  
But has anyone wondered where John would be without his Holmes?

Your brother thinks with you, I see a battlefield

But the truth is, I see a life worth living

I see a reason to keep fighting

Someone to wake up for

A home to come back to

So I walked out of Baker Street and there was the man at the bus stop

And if my wishes came true

It would've been you

They say the greatest loves of all time are over now

They’re wrong


End file.
